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Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial is totally gripping! If you love court room drama, celebrity culture and tongue in cheek entertainment, then book tickets now.
This trial really was a real-life Agatha Christie story. Hence the pun, ‘Wagatha Christie’. I remember Coleens “dot, dot, dot, it’s Rebekah Vardy’s account” like it was yesterday. The biggest mic drop in history.
If you were living under a rock and somehow missed this celebrity media storm, then let me quickly remind you.
Don’t forget to read my review of Greatest Days – a Take That musical
Coleen Rooney was sick of people sharing her private life to the press. She decided to do some sleuthing and eliminated suspects on her instagram page. After blocking everyone, but Rebekah Vardy, on her stories, she started posting fake updates. Some of these made the news. So, she concluded it must be her fellow WAG leaking to the media!
And Rooney let the world know by posting her iconic verdict online. So, Vardy got upset and took her to court for defamation, saying it’s all lies.
And that has all been turned into this fantastic play – Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial.
A game to remember
The moment you walk into the ‘theatre of dreams’ you’re met by the sound of fans. An auditorium turned stadium. A minimal and sleek court room sits on stage but with one big difference. The flooring is lawn. A pristine pitch made ready for this face off match.
And the football references don’t end there. They are footballers’ wives and girlfriends after all. We are guided through the court proceedings by your typical footy commentators. Down to earth, enthusiastic and animated. Describing the action on stage with vigour and analysing with knowledge.
Action replays, nods to witnesses being ‘subbed in’ and even goal celebrations as the final bows make it fun for any sports fan.
The (wo)man of the match
All the dialogue, except for the commentators, is taken directly from the transcripts. Word for word. We hear what was said and I must tell you, it really shines a light on how ridiculous celebrities are and social media is. It feels fictional because some of the responses are absurd. But no, it’s real.
I was completely swept up by the case. Like a highlights reel of the best bits from a seven-day ordeal. The lawyers are dramatic and playful. Rooney and Vardy are complete opposites.
Vardy is well and truly grilled in the first half. Mainly about her sordid past of leaking information about other celebs, and her bitchy WhatsApp exchanges with her PR manager. LUCY MAY BARKER plays this expertly cold, poised and air headed.
After half time, the teams switch ends as we see Rooney spend time in the hot seat. LAURA DOS SANTOS is much more the emotional, distraught victim. With that unmistakable scouse accent. Defending her reason for this secretive plan and whether it was of public interest or just a petty falling out.
Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial is criminally good. Creative, comic and clever. If this was the World Cup, they’d be the ones raising the trophy and spraying champagne all over the podium.
Playing at The Lowry until Sunday 11 June 2023.
Image credit: Tristram Kenton